It is good to back here again - writing two days in the same week. This is considered to be a miracle to me.
The state of my mental and physical exhaustion cannot be fully expressed. I have never felt so drained, empty, or used up in my whole life.
Lunchtime is almost here. However, all I can eat is a bowl of soup and some potato chips - due to my neverending toothache. I have even started drinking Ensure so that I will hopefully remain healthy until my first cavity is fixed - on August 9.
My manager has just begun giving me extra days off at work now during this week. And it is so nice and peaceful. I just love solitude and tranquillity and serenity. I like calm waters and gentle breezes.
I just don't understand how city folk live and work in the urban world - when there is so much peace and quiet in the countryside.
I guess I will always be a country girl at heart. After all, I was raised on a farm ...

I am so glad that I have a few extra days off this week. I feel like I have just been riding a roller coaster and finally it has come to a stop at the end of the ride. However, the ride I've been on is no amusement park entertainment.
I have been working at the gas station/convenience store for almost four months now. Originally, I thought I would quit this particular job within the space of one month of being hired in April of 2006. I was going to quit and be out of there before I could blink an eye!
What happened to my train of thought? How could I lose control so quickly and come to accept this new job?
Well, the manager is a friend of mine. And we have experienced a lot of things together since working at the convenience store. We have become closer and have gotten to know one another better than before (when we worked at Arby's).
We have more time to talk with one another at this job and that has been good for me and for her too.
And it is difficult to find a friend in the workplace these days. It is difficult to find a friend anywhere - even in church. Except for Jesus, of course. He is my best friend ...

I am at a loss for words. It has been such a long time since I have been able to "actually" sit down and record my thoughts.
My health has not been good for the past three or four weeks - due to overscheduling at work, menopause, and a sore tooth.
I am currently experiencing a toothache on the left side of my mouth and it has been difficult to eat anything (that isn't considered to be soft food) for one week now.
The pain was so bad that I had to go to the dentist this week.
The dentist said nothing appeared to be wrong at the first "official" examination of my teeth. Nevertheless, only after x-rays had been taken, did he notice that I had two cavities - which were the cause of my pain.
One cavity is sitting between two of my teeth. I never realized that cavities could form between two teeth, but the dentist said this is a common occurrence.
I remember having cavities as a child, however, I do not remember them being so painful. As a dental patient, I must wait for at least three weeks before the first cavity can be repaired by the dentist. And, too, the dentist did not give me anything for my pain and suffering.
So, I must acquire patience for yet another health problem ...

I am so pleased that I get to write two days in a row! This is one accomplishment I have made this week.
I really don't know why I drag myself through the day. It takes me too long to even just start writing on one project (during the 24 hours in a day). There is so much to do that I seldom know where to begin my work in the morning hours.
I am consciously overwhelmed by my duties and responsibilities.
I think my mother was the same way. However, she somehow managed to keep things together for her children's sake. [My mother also paid a housekeeper to clean the house, cook, and tend to her children while she worked a 40 hour work week.] This help even continued into my teen years - right up to my high school graduation.
Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pay someone to clean my house and cook meals for me. I need to do an awful lot of (spring and summer) cleaning by myself before I hire someone else to do it for me.
Where is the extra money when you need it the most?
My part-time job money supports my writing business and helps to pay the monthly bills. I work because I have to. This is the only reason why I go to work each day. I guess I am just like everyone else when it comes to having a job, I suppose ...

I have not had much time to think - much less, to even write anything during the past three weeks. I do not like to work five days a week and have only two days off. I cannot get everything done in the two days that I am off work.
I honestly do not see how two-income families with children make it these days. There is too much going on at the same time and it is a distraction to all of us - both for men and women. Three other words that mean the same as distraction are: confusion, inattention, and insanity. My dear husband, whom I love very much, has not even noticed that I have had trouble keeping up with my housework and my work schedule on a weekly basis. He did not even notice that I was not feeling well last week.
Of course, my husband has too many things on his mind right now too. He has too much work to be done in and around the house - and not enough time for all of his household chores - even on the weekends.
Nevertheless, my work schedule changes to a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday work week - starting on Monday of next week.
I sure hope this new employee works out. Cross your fingers!
If not, I am back to the same old work schedule - which in itself - leaves me no free time at all ...

I have been working nearly full-time hours at the gas station for the past two weeks. And I will have to work another one like this next week. Barely able to actually get two days off per week, I have not had time to do anything I like.
For example, reading and writing have been removed from my daily schedules ...
Nevertheless, I am still searching for that one hour each day to specifically work on my writing projects. And I am also looking for that one hour each day to focus on reading and meditation.
I have lost my quiet hours of the day during each week for the past two weeks. And this will probably repeat itself again next week too.
There is just not enough time to do everything I want to do at this time in my life. Not only that, but my health is also failing due to the stress of working a part-time job outside my home. Did I really say part-time? Well, these part-time hours have developed to an almost full-time capacity now.
Do all part-time jobs develop into full-time hours these days? I am beginning to wonder about these particular things in life.
The working forty hours a week is good for the paycheck, but bad for the soul. There really is no time at all and I am childless too ...

Today is the only day I will have off this week. I was supposed to have both Tuesday and Wednesday off. However, the manager must do her paperwork duties at another office at least one day a week or the paperwork and the bills fall behind each month. This other office is a real estate office which owns the gas station where I work.
I feel I am definitely working too many hours now. Either I work not enough hours per week or I work too many hours each week. Nevertheless, I think the new employee will begin to work her own hours starting next Monday. Hopefully, that will give me more time at home.
Don't get me wrong. I certainly need the money to help pay my monthly bills. But I shouldn't be so physically tired and mentally stressed working almost on a daily basis each week to get that specific money in the first place.
I am a quiet person who enjoys her solitude. I like being by myself. I am able to entertain myself by reading and writing. So I am never really lonely when I am at home alone. I wish I had more time alone this week ...